Ah, My God!
by Limited-Fantasy
Summary: Thor is a normal college student that just wanted to order some pizza. Instead, he calls a god helpline and ends up summoning a Norse God instead. An AU based off Oh My Goddess!


It had been a long day at university and sometimes Thor thought he might've taken too much on his plate when he decided to be an astrophysics major and part of the football team. Math and science tended not to process well after being knocked down to the ground one too many times or having ones head continually smacked by a football.

When he arrived at his shared apartment and found that Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun were gone ("Sorry dude, we couldn't keep the ladies waiting." –F), he decided to be lazy and order pizza.

"Hello, you've reached the god technical helpline. We will be there in just a moment to grant your access request." Thor scratched his head at the sound of a female talking about some technical helpline. That didn't sound like Dominos to him.

"Wait...no, I got the wrong number—" He didn't get to finish before this guy in green and gold and a horned helmet literally walked out of Fandral's full length living room mirror. Thor dropped the phone and scrambled backwards, knocking onto the back of the couch. What the hell? Did he take too many footballs to the head?

"Greetings mortal. Do make it quick, I don't want to be here more than you want me to be here," the brunette in with the horns drawled. He sounded like one of those annoying posh English guys quarterback Steve Rogers hung out with sometimes. Thor didn't like that tone at all.

"What is your wish? You only get one and cannot wish for three. Sorry, Aladdin ruined that one for you all several centuries ago." Thor wasn't sure if he should laugh or not, the whole situation was absurd and he was still hungry. Besides, who was this guy? Was he really a god?

"So I get one wish? Really?" Thor asked carefully, his expression growing calculating. Some people said Thor didn't have brains, but one couldn't be a third year astrophysics major without some intelligence. Now, if he was to humour the whole situation, what should he wish for?

"Yes really. Now get on with it!" The guy with the horns snapped.

Thor really didn't like the "I'm better than you and you're wasting my time" tone and he wasn't exactly sure if this wasn't some weird dream or not. But since he only had one wish and wanted to annoy Mr. Posh God with the Horns, he wished for the most absurd thing possible: "I wish for you to remain with me always."

As expected, there was no thunder or lightning at the proclamation. Instead, the god rolled his eyes.

"Oh for the love of—" the god didn't get to finish as he began to glow eerie green. His green eyes were blank white for a second and some weird magic, voodoo force lifted the guy up a few inches from the carpet (causing his horns to scrape the top of the apartment ceiling—Thor was going to have to paint over that later). And then, as if his horns were some weird attenas, the green magical sparkly power thing (Thor probably could've called it something smart in scientific terms, but he still thought he was in some weird dream, so stupid names for things were fine) gathered on the horns and _shot right through his ceiling and shook the whole apartment complex_.

Thor stared blankly at the ceiling, not quite believing that the force hadn't made even a dent (but thankfully it didn't and the worse of it was just the scrapes the horns made) and the next thing he knew, this god crashed into the carpet, helmet somehow still in place. That caused the apartment to tremble again (what was his outfit made out of? The guy was skinny, no way he would've shaken the whole apartment like that).

When the guy didn't move, Thor tentatively reached out to shake him by his metallic shoulder pad. That got a groan out of Mr. Lofty God thing.

"What...?" The god muttered as he sat back up, blinking blankly at his surroundings. Thor had no idea what to say, but something weird had happened and he watched as realization hit the horned god and he quickly snatched up Thor's phone.

The god looked up his recent calls and redialed in a flash, placing the phone close to his ear while he swore something like "Odin's beard!" under his breath.

Thor didn't say anything because the guy looked pretty pissed off as he waited for whatever agency it was to pick up.

"Hello, this is Loki speaking." This Loki was giving a rather creepy "I'm going to murder someone if they don't let me have my way" smile.

"Yes, there seems to have been a—I _know_ Sigyn, that all transactions are final, but surely this—what?" The smile faded and now he just looked murderous. Kind of like an angry gold and green bull.

"Get the All-Father on the line then, I'll let him know a piece of my—" Loki growled when he got a dial tone and threw the phone onto the carpet. Thor watched it bounce and shatter into several pieces. Damn, he'd have to get another.

There was a pause as Thor looked from the shattered phone over to Loki, who was muttering under his breath now as he took off his helmet and ran a hand through his long, dark hair.

"So...the wish came true?" Thor finally asked.

"I'm still here, aren't I?" Loki snapped, focusing his glare on Thor as if it was all his fault (which it was).

"You can't cancel it?"

"Not unless the All-Father, the sadistic old coot, reverses it. I don't have the power at present to reverse it myself. Not without Gungnir," Loki replied bitterly. Thor had no idea who All-Father was or what gun-whatever was, but it sounded like the purchase was final.

"Uh huh...so what now?"

"You tell me, mortal. I suppose I'll have to live here with you until matters are sorted out on Asgard." The helmet was now on his table as Loki got to his feet, wearing boot-shaped grooves onto the carpet as he paced. Thor frowned, remembering what exactly he wished for.

"Didn't you say...?"

"Nothing is impossible with Loki Laufeyson," Loki's vanity was back in his voice again, but Thor decided it was best to ignore it for the moment because the god was still a god and he didn't want lightning to come strike him down or anything. So instead, he decided to focus on what he'd wanted in the first place.

"...so can you magic me a pizza?" Surely a god could magic him pizza for free after all the damage he had done to the apartment and to his carpet!

"What in Hel is a 'pizza'?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow. Thor sighed. Maybe he should've wished for pizza instead.


End file.
